we need a final solution

I don't have a very long list of pet peeves. or...i don't have a list. sometimes i notice things that are annoying and i think to myself "i should remember that so if anyone ever asks me what my pet peeves are i can tell them" but i don't and i don't.

in my attempts to make some kind of compendium of "pet peeves" only one thing has stuck: divvying up restaurant tabs. pretty fucking annoying, and here's why:
- people don't have enough money
- people have only have 20s
- people only have cards so they have to get the bill split....
- the math involved, the alpha person typically will pick up the bill and point to everyone and be like "you got coffee and you got eggs over my hammy...so you owe....?" but deciding how much everyone owes is pretty easy compared to the task at hand if someone pays with a twenty or a card and then the others have to figure out how much to give them from their lesser/ bills.

here is a new contender for a pet peeve:
Americans telling non-Americans "what america is like" while the nonAms are visiting America. I went out to lunch with two Americans today and also two dutch who were doing a big round the world trip.
the americans spent the better part of our 30 minute meal telling them that the south is full of hicks and that there is absolutely nothing interesting in the mid-west. They kept mentioning popular conceptions of Americans and emphatically denouncing those world-wide stereotypes -- but then in the next breath give new stereotypes to feed off of.
at some point during the meal one of the americans said to the dutch: "so...do you like America?"

I tried to call them on it, but they were just like "yeah stereotypes suck!" and kept doing it? i guess i wasn't precise enough in my words.

anyway, i can't stand it. the south is dumb, the west is really relaxed, the midwest is fully of dopes, and everyone on the east coast is breaking the law. (not sure if those are all stereotypes)

here is a joke a french girl told me once:
A man wants to start having anal sex with his wife. so he thinks about it for a while, and then goes to the exotic pet shop and buys 100 penguins. he brings them all back to their house and waits for his wife to come home.
when she comes home she says: what are all these penguins doing here?
and her husband replies: i think we should start having anal sex.

secluded from domestic strife jack bookworm led a college life

On sunday I used my "Garage Band" application to make a podcast. at the time we didn't have internet, so there really wasn't much to do. so i listened to music, used a microphone. it was fun...ish. i'll probably make another one at some point.
I always get podcasts when I am really bored and i can't think of anything to listen to, or i don't want to think of anything to listen to. maybe you could do the same? there are some songs you will like i bet. it's a half an hour long.

here

department also strongly

yesterday was a bit too much for me. my english professor told her audience that she found people from the pacific NW to very polite. I've been thinking about it a lot and i can't decide if i agree with her or not.
I woke up thinking about this song. i listened to that album for the first time since it came out last week and i was pleasantly surprised. it's kind of a weird album. lots of guitars and strings.

Your Lips Are Red - St. Vincent

saturday sunday monday

Behind the Garage - Erics Trip

looking at a house today.
- Landlords make me nervous
- the landlord seems kind of like a dork
- i am prepared to lie to the landlord to get what i want (which is the house).

i have to clip my nails and take a shower before i go.

The First of Last Year

lately i've been having a lot of nightmares. Our house was broken into again recently and the perpetrator (from here on out referred to as 'perp') tried to go into my room. luckily, i keep a bucket full of cables against my door because it doesn't shut all the way and i don't like the cat or the dog to be near me when i am asleep. He tried to open the door, the door hit the bucket, i woke up, i said "who's there?" and then the 'perp' went upstairs, and out doors. i could hear his feet in the gravel. nothing was stolen though which was, initially, a mind fuck. i thought that maybe i was going insane and the door opening, the footsteps, the door closing was all maybe in my head. but now i feel confident when i say that a person was in our house.

[x] currently locking doors

wow tangent! what i meant to say was that lately i have been having a lot of nightmare and ALSO i have been waking up nearly every morning with a song stuck in my head. which is new for me. every morning a song. every passing weekday is like a blog year (new colloquialism alert!) so i think i'm going to start posting those songs on here. consider it an experiment.

So today i woke up late but the song that was in my head was this guy:

Advice to the Graduate - Silver Jews

but like i said i was late, too late to listen to it right as i was waking up. so i grabbed the trusty pod and ran to the bus stop but the song was not there. very disappointing. since that song was missing i didn't quite know what to do, so i just put pavement on shuffle and heard one of their songs that i never really cared for before today in a different light. so this is like the auxiliary song of the day:

Transport Is Arranged - Pavement

look i'm not going to break my back doing this.

Conversation 1

I wouldn't want to meet someone who was

last night two things happened to me in my dream that have never happened to me.
- I died
and
- I had had the first half of the dream before

So here's the dream*:

I'm trying to win the affection of some girl who lives in a big, farm-style house. she has a cruel, over bearing father (this time around he looked like clint eastwood in Gran Torino) and i'm not sure if they're religious or something -- what's important is that this girl is totally unavailable unless i do something. like her dad will tell me something that leads me to believe that if i do something then he'll stop being such a jerk.
then, there's a very long sequence where i go around helping people. it's like a chain. It's like in Legend of Zelda. For example, i'll go to the person who could make the mystery girl mine but he'll say something like:
"I'd love to help, but I need to take this diamond ring to the ring polishing shop" or something. and then i would offer to take it. and then when i got there the ring polisher would need something to be done for him before any rings could be polished. and so on and so on and so on.

and so after i do all this and the girl should be available -- she still isn't! her dad tells me to leave in the original and this time was no different except i took a cab right after being rejected. so i get in this cab and it's driven by a mexican guy who doesn't speak english very well and i say:
"Boulder, Colorado"
and he's like:
"¿Que?"
and then i'm like (i thought this was weird):
"look, buddy, if you're going to live in America and drive people around you gotta know where things are..."
and then there's a cow in our lane of the highway and the driver swerves and starts spinning until we stop and we're in both lanes and i look out the window and all these cars are headed right for us and inside all the people's heads and torsos are exploding so that there's blood covering the inside windows of all these cars. and then i died.

*sorry for talking about my dream